Pornography in the culture and in the church has become the massive elephant in the room. It is rampant and destroying peoples lives, but often we will not deal with it. “64% of young people, ages 13–24, actively seek out pornography weekly or more often.” “35% of all Internet downloads are porn-related. “ It is estimated that nearly 80% of men between 18-30 years old watch porn at least once a month. These stats are staggering. Why are we not doing more? Why are we not completely focused on this problem? Here are a few of the reasons:
• We do not think it is our problem – It may be an issue in the culture but not in my church, nor in my home.
• We are afraid to deal with it because it affects so many – In truth, if churches really started dealing with this they would find pastors, deacons, and leaders hooked into this destructive pattern. In turn this would lead to many leaders being removed, and churches possibly in chaos.
• We don’t know what to do to help men and women caught – Pastors and leaders simply have limited tools to help those trapped in this addiction. Pastors have said, “this is not my struggle, I do not understand how to help.”
The question that permeates from this discussion is, what does this have to do with disciple-making? One of the first key steps in being a disciple of Jesus is learning to live and walk rightly. No matter what we hear on Sunday and no matter what our intentions are, unless we deal with our own sin we cannot truly be disciples of Jesus. It is my belief that many men and women are caught in this horrific sin and they don’t know how to find help. They are not sure how to escape. Some studies indicate that pornography is as addictive as tobacco. It rewires the brain for pleasure that truly does not satisfy. When we talk about making disciples that make disciples, many who want to grow and mature find themselves in this endless cycles of addiction and destruction. Like other sins and addictions pornography is a gateway into deeper struggles. It escalates into graver perversions.
Lest you think this is a young mans problem, pornography destroys and alters a persons’ understanding of sexuality and intimacy. The marriage rate is declining in part because pornography is supplementing true intimacy. All of the facts and details lead us back to the core problem. We have a massive elephant in the room and if we want to make disciples, we have to deal with it.
Some initial steps to help churches engage the struggles in their congregation:
• Learn – The church leadership needs to study this problem. In recent days a plethora of information has been produced concerning the scope of the struggle. Websites like www.fightthenewdrug.com and www.enough.org have a host of content to help.
• Honest conversations – One of the most valuables things that can change the struggles of pornography is to provide venues and groups that have honest conversations about the addiction. Disciple-making and other gender based groups are a great place to allow deep and needed conversations to take place. If men are not in these groups, more than likely, they will never find help.
• Remove the Taboo – When those deep conversations begin to happen they must be within a context that is warm and welcoming. We are never condoning sin, but people need to be able to confess without being stigmatized or ostracized. If the focus is more on their sin and not the repentance and process for healing, all progress can be destroyed.
• Develop a plan – Once people have engaged in honest conversations concerning their addiction, there must be a plan in place to help them begin a path to freedom. We have developed a 30-day initial detox tool, Crave, for anyone to use. It’s anonymous and free. www.cravefreedom.com. Crave allows an individual to request that a mentor connects to them through the initial process. There are other tools and individuals that can help. The key aspect is that someone is walking with them in this; they are no longer alone in isolation.
1. https://fightthenewdrug.org/10-porn-stats-that-will-blow-your-mind/
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